Woody Smalls

Mindless Rhetoric at its Best!

What I Think Might Be In Hell

I was thinking the other day about Heaven and Hell. You know, when you kind of slip off into your own world dreaming about actually meeting Christ and asking God all of those questions you’ve been writing down for years.
Anyway, Heaven is a list way too long to even begin with, but I thought about my life and here are a 10 things I think might be in Hell.
10. Toilets – yes, very dirty toilets that constantly need cleaning and all you have to do the job is toilet tissue and Windex.
9. Weed eaters – the Ban of my existence. Can’t operate one to save my life. Must have missed that day in shop class.
8. Billy Packer – i would rather have broken glass shoved in my ears than listen to him rant during another basketball game. (got my wish tonight as he finally stepped down from CBS – yeah!)
7. Craft Stores – my kryptonite is Michael’s or Hobby Lobby or any store like that. I’m feeling weak just talking about it.
6. Mint Ice Cream – I love me some ice cream and I like mints, but never under any circumstance should the streams cross.
5. Yolanda Amedaeo – Go to www.walb.com and view one of her weather forecasts. Have a shot or two of whiskey handy for the pain.
4. Gnats, Roaches and Spiders – Come to Southwest Georgia anytime between March and November and we’ll talk. I love you God, but why these three. (PS – that is one of my questions for the Big Man one day)
3. Reality TV – Big Brother, The Hills, et al. OMG…
2. Really Bad Text Messagers – Nothing would drive me crazy more than constantly getting messages from someone who can’t properly text. (is CRD cord, curd, see road… ARGHHHHHH!)
1. Mediacom – The next time a cable sales person tries to tell me I’m an idiot for paying for my local channels with DirecTV when they charge me for locals and then tell me they do not charge for locals and stand firm to their story.

Just a few thoughts for the evening. Feel free to add your own.

Until next we meet…


July 15, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment